SAWING A LADY IN HALF…the 10th cut on “Stage and Circus Songs”

SAWING A LADY

from the album That Dress 2004

SAWING A LADY IN HALF
(Craig Robertson 11/05)
G Gdim D7
He comes on the stage with a smile
G Gdim D7
He has teeth like a Nile crocodile
Am D7 Am D7
He does some small tricks and some prestidigitation
Am D7 Am D7
His lovely assistant causes quite a sensation
Em Bm
As she climbs in a coffin and pulls down the top
Am
And he takes out a saw
D7
And someone yells “stop!”
(but he doesn’t)
G C7 D7
(Chorus) He’s sawing the lady in half
G C7 Cm D7
He makes a small joke and everyone laughs
Am D7
there’s nothing to fear
Em Bm
It’s all done with mirrors
Am D7 G
Sawing a lady in half.

He saws and she screams
And it’s all in good fun
He pushes both halves apart when he’s done
And his lovely assistant wrinkles her nose
And, across the room, she wiggles her toes

Chorus

The cut is so clean, there’s no blood or no gore
No messy liquids run out on the floor
The ladies all faint and the men all turn green
It is the most wonderous thing that they’ve seen

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THROWING KNIVES AT CLOUDS…the 8th song on the “Stage and Circus Songs” album.

LEAD Technologies Inc. V1.01

from the album She Talks To The Snakes In Her Hair 2011

THROWING KNIVES AT CLOUDS
(Robertson 11)

Ankles and wrists, leather straps
She spreads her legs and the audience laughs
Her costume is brief and her arms are bare
You can see all the scars hidden there

You’re the target, you’re the target
There’s no need to be nervous
You’re the target, you’re the target
I only miss on purpose

Ankles and wrists, hesitations cuts
Somebody says, this guy is nuts
He puts on a blindfold before he throws
How he does it, no one knows

Chorus

The target spins and everyone grins
They know he’s going to miss her
What they don’t know is long ago
He buried her twin sister

chorus

SHE DANCES ON HORSES…the 8th song on my “Stage and Circus Songs” album

she dances

from the album When Close Is Not Good Enough 2013

(Craig Robertson 2013)

She dances on horses
Ten feet from the ground
The audience faces
Spin around and around

Farmers and mystics
Knock on her door
After her act
They want to see more

They don’t understand
There’s nothing else there
Sequins and lipstick
In her makeup mirror

She dances on horses
In the center ring
The lights and the sawdust
All make her life sing

Every new city
Is just like the last
They all look the same
From the train as they pass

Her costume is tight
It’s been sewn and re-sewn
The clowns and the roustabouts
Leave her alone

her movements are smooth
like butter on toast
and everyone tells her that she is the most
beautiful woman that they’ve ever seen
but she don’t feel beautiful
she just feels mean
if anyone asks, I don’t fuckin’ care
they never can touch me
they only can stare

JUNGLE GIRL…the 7th song from my “Stage and Circus Songs” album

bettie-page-with-cheetah-bunny-yeager

(betty page by bunny yeager)

from the album Alchemy 2015

JUNGLE GIRL
(Robertson 11)

Jungle girl, won’t you marry me?
I’ve watched you on the high trapeze
In your leopard skin costume you’re so lovely
Jungle girl, won’t you marry me?

The circus isn’t staying long
In another week they will be gone
And you’ll be off across the sea
Jungle girl, will you marry me?

We could find a house in town
Though I’ve never seen you on the ground
So perhaps a house up in a tree
Jungle girl, will you marry me?

ACROBAT…the sixth song from my Stage and Circus compilation album

acrobat1

from the album The Visitor 2017
ACROBAT
(Robertson 2017)

chorus

She’s an acrobat
she tumbles all the time
she has a heart that dances
to each and every line
and I wish that I could figure out
how to make her mine
but she’s an acrobat
she tumbles all the time

she’s made a career
out of falling down
she recovers gracefully
every time she hits the ground
she’s got bells around her waist
and sawdust in her hair
it only makes her lovelier
people stop and stare

chorus

I’ve watched her fall so many times
she spins head over heels
she doesn’t know which way is up
and I know how that feels
she runs around in circles
and dances in the light
dazzles all the audience
every single night

chorus

HOUDINI NEVER HUNG AROUND IN BARS…the 5th song on my Stage and Circus Compilation album

houdini never

from the album Houdini’s Perspective 2006

HOUDINI NEVER HUNG AROUND IN BARS
(C. Robertson 2005)

Dm Bdim A7
Houdini always thought outside the box
Dm Bm A7
That’s how he opened all those locks
Bb7 A7
He wasn’t worried
Gm A7
When they dropped him off the dock
Gm A7 Dm9
Houdini always thought outside the box.

His assistants always locked him up real tight
Then they turned out all the lights
There was never any doubt
That he’d somehow get out
When his assistants locked him up real tight

D G A D Bm
You think everyone’s a saint
G A D Bm
I’m here to tell you that they aint
G Å D Bm
You think your front door is locked
G Gm A7
I’m here to tell you that it’s not….

Houdini never hung around in bars
He was outside starin’ at the stars
Every Hank and Louie
Though he was plain screwy
But Houdini never hung around in bars.

BEARS….the fourth song on my Stage and Circus Compilation album

BEARS2

from the album Houdini’s Perspective 2006

BEARS
(Craig Robertson 2004)I work at the Circus
I take care of the bears
When they’re not wearing hats
Or standing on chairs
I put them to bed
They sleep on the floor
They know me pretty well
But they don’t know the score.

I ride on the train
When we come to a town
I put on my cowboy boots
And wear them around
I walk up and down the streets
And look at the shops
People smile when we meet
Even all the cops

But every town looks the same
Every place that we stay
Every town looks the same
And then we go away
The bears cannot smile
And they cannot say
What makes them unhappy
But they dance anyway.